When I look back at the years since my girls were born, I marvel at how much I have changed. My faith and trust in God have grown after being tested and worn thin.
Eight years ago, I began a 2 year stretch of working from home. At the time, I longed to quit and just be home. That happened when I had my other daughter. A two year old and a newborn were enough to handle! I quit, but soon realized I missed contributing financially.
In these last six years, I have been on a quest that has only found the right path recently. When I was trying and not succeeding, the feelings of failure and despair were overwhelming.
I tried direct sales. Nope.
I worked at Chick-Fil-A. It was not my pleasure after all.
I was willing to work overnight shifts at a hotel. Glad I realized I need sleep before it was too late.
I wanted to write for the publisher I used to work for. They said no.
I applied to stock toys overnight at Toys R Us. They told me I was overqualified and wanted me to work the floor. Did I mention this was a part time Christmas job? Ummm, no. Parents scare me enough without yelling at me for being out of a toy!
I found magazines and wrote a bunch of articles that were never chosen.
I wrote an awesome essay for Chicken Soup for the Soul that was eventually turned down.
I wrote a fundraiser last year for my church. After publishers said no, I decided to print copies and sell it myself.
Do you know how rejected I felt all those times? How lost? All my attempts crumbled under me or were immediately shot down. It felt like no one wanted me (except my family, and they are stuck with me.) Something kept pushing me. Someone kept me from giving up on finding what I was created to do.
Things didn’t start to turn around until I gave up trying so hard and gave it to God. He gave me peace daily, hope, and His promises. But I had to seek them. Once we seek God’s will, He really does show us. It isn’t instant, but He shows up and leads us on each step.
In Matthew 7, it says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” This is so true. For years, I was seeking my own way and getting only frustration. I had to get to a point of desperation where I physically couldn’t do it anymore. I had to fully commit to what God wanted before anything changed. For the last two years, I have been on the right path, but things are just now coming together.
I am now seeking again, but I know it isn’t in vain. God will bring the right opportunities at the right time. I believe that with all my heart.
If you are tired of doing everything on your own, stop now. Lay it down and tell God how much you need Him. He has been waiting for you to ask for help, and He longs to bring you to where you are meant to be. Seek God and trust that His promises are good.
Linking with the Saturday Soiree Blog Party.