Sunday my Mom would have been 67. Until a few years ago, I would mourn the day she went to heaven 12 years ago in August. Each year I wouldn’t really think about her birthday, at least not without sorrow. Three years ago a wise person suggested we celebrate that she lived.That opened my eyes! It isn’t that I miss her any less, but now I take the opportunity to be happy she lived, on the day she came into this world.
So we started buying a birthday cake, which thrilled my girls. They were at ages of starting to understand that I had a Mom that they never got to meet. Sometimes they are sad and ask me questions about her. Honestly, it makes me sad too, but seeing how excited they are to have a birthday party for her makes it easier. Here is this year’s cake:
Last year we started another tradition. The girls make her birthday cards. Yes, my 6 year old told her Mimi she “licks” her. She obviously did this on her own. 🙂
Then we send the cards up to heaven with balloons. There is something special about watching those balloons rise, even though I know they won’t actually get to heaven.
Now that we have a birthday party for Mom, I see that August date differently. I don’t have to mourn and cry. I am more excited that she lived and was my Mom instead of somebody else’s. I have always known I will see her again one day, but now it is because of her that we have discussions about what it will be like. (We are convinced there is Chick-Fil-A in heaven!)
Looking at and choosing to focus on the happy makes the sad more tolerable. We all have choices to make in our view. When we lose someone we love, we can continue to mourn or be glad for the time we had. I think society tells us to stay in mourning forever, but that isn’t how God wants us to live! Psalm 30:5 has been a great comfort to me, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Everyone’s grief has a different time table, but God wants us to have joy again. He doesn’t want us stuck in the past but moving to the future.
If you are in a place of mourning someone you love, take heart. God doesn’t want it to last forever. You may be in the night, but He will bring you to the joy of the morning.
Maybe cake is just what you need!
Linking with Holley at her Coffee For Your Heart!