Everyone has been making a big deal about super moons lately. Each time I go look though, I am slightly disappointed. Sure it looks a little bigger and brighter. I just keep hoping to see what I saw the night You took Mom home. I had gone back to my apartment on Wednesday, knowing it was a matter of hours or days. When I got a call early Friday morning, I dressed and drove the 45 minutes to the house to see her one last time.
The roads were empty and the usually hot August air was still and cooler. As I drove through Georgia, my thoughts were at war with each other. Of course I was sad and missed her already. Part of me felt relieved she was out of pain and with You finally. The rest of me was tired.
Then I saw it. You placed the most amazing thing in the sky that night. This was no super moon- it was breathtaking. The moon was larger than life and lit up the sky. I couldn’t take my eyes off it! Then and there my heart was calmed and peace settled over me. You, in Your sovereignty, gave me just what I needed. It felt like You came down out of the heavens and comforted me. I instantly knew that You truly understood my sorrow at losing someone I loved so. Knowing You sent Your Son to earth to pay for my sins became real to me in that moment. You comprehend grief because You were the first to feel it. You created this perfect world with beings in Your image, and we destroyed it. You were devastated at man’s betrayal and the subsequent downward spiral that has been happening ever since. Knowing how we treat You never makes You see us as anything less. We are still in Your image and You love us with every fiber of Your being. No matter what.
After that night, the moon has become a rainbow for me. A symbol of Your love and promises. It reminds me of Your presence. That night, seeing Your glory light up the night sky, was one of the first times I had felt Your presence in a tangible way. It felt like I could reach out and touch You. You knew I needed reassurance. Many times since then, I have wondered if I imagined it. I knew I was awake, so it wasn’t a dream. The night felt very dream-like, but it was so real. At first I liked to think having that moon was Your way of greeting Mom. But something tells me what she got was somehow better!
The rainbow after the flood in the Bible was a covenant You made to Noah, and to us as well. You said You would never flood the earth like that again. Even if (when) people become lost and evil again, You are not going to bring that much rain. When You gave me such an amazing moon that night, You wanted me to know that although a situation looks bleak, You are in the middle of it. You are full of power and mercy. As long as I keep looking up, I will see Your presence. Nothing can take that away from me.
A full moon tells me that no matter what is going on in my life, You see it. You care. You promise to always be with me, especially when life is challenging. Nothing happening in my life slips by You-even the seemingly small stuff. When I see a moon now, 13 years later, I still get that feeling of love and security. Warmth takes over from the inside out and I can’t help but smile. My God, You love me enough to show Your affection and wrap Your arms around me. Nothing reminds me of Your presence like a moon, and that is something that will stay with me until I can see You face to face. It all started on a sad night, but You began immediately to take that sadness from me. Little by little, You stayed true to Your promise that You would always be with me. I did not know the full extent of the importance of that moon at the time. Over the years, You replaced a tiny bit of grief with a little more hope when I would see the full moon. I will never stop missing my Mom, but the sadness began to overwhelm less and less as You washed it out of my soul.
As much as I want to see Mom and others I have lost, You want to see me MORE. One day that will be fulfilled, but until then, You will display Your majesty for me to enjoy. As long as I see these things, truly SEE them, You will keep showing me what You can do.
Maybe when I get to heaven, You can show me how You did it.
Linking with Faith Along the Way