The thoughts were etched in my mind: When will I be useful again? I can’t ever help anyone or volunteer because I can’t take the girls. Am I wasting my life?
Y’all, those are just plain lies from the pit of hell! Satan loves nothing more than to make us believe his convoluted version of truth. He is so sneaky and knows just what pushes each of our buttons. You feel useless. You think God can’t use you because of your past. You think being somewhere else or with someone else will make you fulfilled. Well, you’re wrong. Satan tries to push us as far from our loving God as he can and will use guilt, thinking we have no value, or an affair to achieve that goal. We can’t let him!
I am learning more and more about seasons. The older I get, the faster time flies. I look back on that sweet, well meaning girl I was and at how fast those babies grew, and I am grateful I had all that time to be with them. A friend of mine pointed out that she had been there and that I could volunteer when they went to school. She was right and I had three great years volunteering and making new friends. At the time she said that, it seemed that would never happen. I was up to my elbows in diapers and that did not seem like meaningful work. There were days I despaired and wondered if God even saw me. Why would He? There were more Important People out there.
Don’t get me wrong- I loved my time with my girls. Being away from them felt like my heart was ripped out. But I would get an email every month about ways I could help in the community and they made me feel so useless. I could never do any of it, because even when I tried in the evening, James couldn’t get home in time or he would need me to help with a sick child. There was a war going on inside of me. I loved my life but felt like there was more I should have been doing.
If this sounds like you, let me tell you something: This is a short season. Oh so short. Enjoy it as much as you can (hey, I know it isn’t always fun). One day soon you will be able to get out and do more if you want to. I am now two seasons away from that time and back at work part time. I can’t believe how fast the years are going by.
Each time our life is going in a new direction, Satan will try to distract us. He will tell us we can’t do this or that we should be doing something else. Don’t let him steal any joy from your life. Know that if this is where you are, you are here for a reason. Make it count. It may feel small, but none of it is. Do your best and leave the timing up to God.
Linking with Faith Along the Way