There have not been any updates on our plans to foster lately because there isn’t really anything to say. We are still in the pre-approval, paper work stage, especially since we are transferring from the county to a private church based foster and adoption organization. The only change is that our girls have stopped asking me when we are going to get a child to stay with us.
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a coworker who also wants to foster or adopt one day. I pointed out that this process is similar to pregnancy in some ways, just no cankles or stretch marks. When I was pregnant, people loved to tell me their horror stories of childbirth and newborn babies. Maybe we all love the look of horror on someone’s face. I don’t know. Some people get really excited when they hear someone is having a baby. Both of these happen on a regular basis to me these days. Lots of family and friends are very excited and think this is great. There are also plenty who bring up their best friend’s sister’s nephew who apparently brought the spawn of Satan to live with his family. I know these stories are meant to be helpful, so I just nod along.
Yes, it is going to be hard sometimes and we are going to get attached to a child who then goes back to their family. I think God prepared me for this back when I was a hospice volunteer. I worried and worried over how sad that was going to be, but now I see God’s hand protecting my heart from totally breaking. For several months, I visited with people just once and didn’t get attached. Then I began sitting with a woman while her daughter ran errands. I was with these sweet ladies for over two years before I quit so I could go back to work. It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to them, but I got through it.
Do I also think about how this is going to affect my children? Of course! I never want them to feel they come in second to another child, but that doesn’t mean we should stop. I worried about this until I saw Lauren’s answer for how she will feel about sharing her parents, which made me cry. “My parents might treat them a little differently but I know they will love me the same.” Her heart is huge at only 11 years old. This is going to be such an adjustment, but our girls know there is nothing that can make us love them less. They are excited to be a part of helping others who need us.
When I look back, I see God’s hand preparing our family. Knowing that we have Him in our corner and seeing Him work everything out gives us a boldness to step out. Life isn’t meant to be easy. If we aren’t doing something that makes us uncomfortable in order to help someone else, we aren’t living life right. If we are listening to outside voices tell us the option we are choosing may not work, we will miss out. And if we listen to the fear that creeps in our minds, others will miss out.
I dare you to be bold!
Linking with Holley Gerth